WIP Update - The Edits Continue

Two nights ago, I finished another pass and read the last words of my WIP. My son actually fell asleep on the ground behind me while I read the last few chapters out loud (which could be a bad sign...). But when he returned after a quick shower, he listened to the very last chapter quietly. 

When I reached the end, he asked, "Aren't you going to write some more words?" I told him that was the end, and tried to explain how it began (the end of a journey) versus how it ended (the start of a new journey), and how that seemed like a good way to close the story. Then he wanted me to read from the beginning. But it was bedtime.

I'm still high on the feeling of another milestone met! I know I'm still not done, though. I've fought with deciding the next step. I made a few notes along the way. There were two or three places that needed a quick revision to make the characters/plot consistent. Those are pretty much fixed now.

I reached out to my coach, but he can't meet until next week. 

So, here I sit, with tons of motivation and creative juices boiling, and no certain path.

I know there is more to do! I noticed something on this read, though. It's strange how stories and writing shift as the plot moves along. The beginnings are always more descriptive and once the action slips in, the story speeds up. I find myself questioning if that acceleration is the right amount, and if there is more that could be revealed to the reader throughout. 

I'm also afraid of those scenes when the character is experiencing something humans would not be able to fathom. Did I describe it well enough? Most of the reviews about my published short story contain the word "confusing." This is my ultimate fear now. Will the reader grasp the experience through my words?

So possible next steps:

• Make another pass and go even deeper with character voice and narrative description. 
• Focus on "out-of-body" scenes and sharpen the description.
• Focus on the mythology and reveal more to the reader (sooner?) so it doesn't come on so heavy.
• Add more to the secondary POV so the story has a stronger dual perspective (not much, maybe just one or two extra scenes/conversations).
• Put it away again and work on something else with all this creative fuel. (Really don't want to do this again! I need it to be fresh. Remembering an entire novel in your head while you make small changes without creating huge ripples is as hard as it sounds.)

Decisions, decisions.

While I consider these options, here is a piece of early description from the first chapter. I was working on making the description active so the reader learns about the scenery and the story while she explores.

She stood on top of the dune with her eyes closed, soaking in all the vibrations of the planet. She listened to the water—crashing, rolling, sliding, hissing away into tiny holes in the sand. A perfect decrescendo. The scene mesmerized her. Her surroundings comforted her and made her feel at home despite having absolutely no similarity to the constant sound of thrusters, air recyclers, and feet tapping on metal floors. Memories of past lives threatened to surface but she pushed them away. This moment was hers. The ancestors would not take this from her.

 I really like this paragraph. It reveals a lot about the character and the threshold in her life she is about to cross.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend/week. Enjoy the closest new moon in a thousand-year span. Pretty strong symbolism for new beginnings and long journeys!

IWSG - December - Time to Catch-up!

It is time to return. I am finally in a place where I can read and comment on other members, so I am back to being part of the hop.

I hated to step out, but I also hated to hang on by my fingernails as I tried to survive a bit of personal turbulence. I still would have missed out on really supporting others with full participation!

So here is my take on the question for this month:

December 7 question - It's holiday time! Are the holidays a time to catch up or fall behind on writer goals?

I would like to say this is a time to catch up. I am finally finishing up some professional certificate courses I was required to complete for my day job, so my evening/weekend times are about to be more open. On the flip side, I will be traveling to visit family, which means several days of getting nothing done (except devoting 100% of my time to family).

I will certainly get more writing done in the next month than I have in the past four months. So I would say I couldn't fall much further behind!

I look forward to reading many other author responses! Thanks for keeping my spot warm!

RIP My Sweet Jiji
02/2019 - 12/2022
We didn't have long enough!

Now who will stare at me while I write? Silly kitty!

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

The awesome co-hosts for the December 7 posting of the IWSG are Joylene Nowell Butler, Chemist Ken, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Cathrina Constantine!

Personal Time Travel

 The evidence on this website is clear. I have recently been stuck in an unprecedented mode of time travel. Time slipped further and further away. So much so, I think the word "slup" could be invented to describe the feeling more accurately. No time for this, and no time for that, all because time slup.

Passion could not stop it. Drive could not stop it. Desperation certainly could not stop it. My writing coaches, circle of author friends, and this website all became frozen in a past life. Glimpses of them appeared on a whiff of guilt each time I walked by my lonely laptop resting on a desk of increasingly heaped crap.

I would try to get back, but thirty minutes of editing, an hour of planning in my journal, a long silent stare at my inspiration board all amounted to nothing more than a wake for my author persona. My words slipped (slup) further from my fingertips every day. It wasn't depressing, not as depressing as it sounds. I found time with my family, time to do small, insignificant household tasks like wiping down the world's most complicated trashcan. Time at work grew longer and longer, too. What is the point of taking a break in a ten-hour day? If I work all the way through, I can finish even more! I never do seem to catch up.

There truly is nothing sad about my missing persona. It isn't even missing, just under a sleeping curse, waiting in hibernation for the flow of time to be just right.

Is the time right? I cannot say, but I can say this:  I woke up on another planet today. This is something my past self has done many times. I could hear the crashing of waves on sand. It is dark, but not night. This is not the first time I have dreamed of a planet in perpetual dusk, although this one is different. The sand is the color of the night sky. I follow the shoreline until the washing sand gives way to a paved staircase of deep blue bricks. The water laps at the edges of the steps leading to the base of a huge tower. Everything is dark blue. The sand is probably the main ingredient for the bricks and cob used to build the tower. The retreating water leaves the surface glossy and slippery, but I am not using my feet to travel, so I won't fall. As peaceful as this scene sounds, I know I am being hunted. But I am not afraid, merely annoyed. What is it this time?

Then I hear the bathroom door slam, the toilet lid smack into the tank, and the relieved sigh of a small child. I am sucked back into the too-fast flow of time once again.

IWSG - June

Fashionably late to the party again. (But determined not to give up.)

I have some more content planned for this month, so I should be able to keep up...if anyone is still out there.

June 1 question - When the going gets tough writing the story, how do you keep yourself writing to the end? If you have not started the writing yet, why do you think that is and what do you think could help you find your groove and start?

This is a great question! I never really had trouble with the "writing" part of the story, but I am definitely stuck on the "editing" part! (Which is a part of writing...so...guilty.) The going is extremely tough right now. 

Today I came across a card from an old-fashioned printing press that said:  "If you do not have time to do it right, how will you ever have time to do it over." This was always my attitude while writing. I wanted it to be perfect the first time. Of course, a first draft is never perfect, but I certainly didn't want to be stuck where I am today, making big edits. Now I know how to do a better job in the pre-drafting phase, and I hope that means my time will be spent "doing it right." No hurry!

So, right now, staying in the groove is really more like visiting the groove when I can. I know what I want to accomplish, I know what I need to accomplish it, and I just keep stopping by and making small things happen. (That's all I can do right now, and that's good enough for me.) I have enough stress in my life without my love of storytelling being one of them.

I hope everyone is having a good start to their summer/winter season!

The awesome co-hosts for the June 1 posting of the IWSG are SE White, Cathrina Constantine, Natalie Aguire, Joylene Nowell Butler, and Jacqui Murray!

IWSG May - Let's Pretend

 Let's pretend like I did not miss the last two months of blogging. Let's also pretend like I did not miss the entire month of April and the A to Z challenge which was so successful last year, and that I did not put it on my goals for 2022.

Now I will pretend like I have a good answer for the May question for the Insecure Writers Support Group.

Awesome co-hosts for today last week:  

Kim Elliott, Melissa Maygrove, Chemist Ken, Lee Lowery, and Nancy Gideon!

May 4 15 question - It's the best of times; it's the worst of times. What are your writer highs (the good times)? And what are your writer lows (the crappy times)?

My writer life is completely enslaved by my other lives. When my overall life is high, then the writing is high, too. I feel great when I can stick to my routine, when I can stay in contact with my writing buddies and writing coaches. I make plenty of progress when everyone else in my house is content and nothing else needs my attention.

Writing lows strike when there is any sort of imbalance. For example the mess on my desk right now. I really want to stop and fix it. I also want to do some exercise, fold some laundry, weed my garden, play games with my kids...

So it would seem, I could come up with a thousand excuses not to spend time writing. So are the crappy times really because of life distractions, or because I am not motivated to make time for writing? Seems like a cyclical argument!

Do you have to keep a strict routine to do the things you want to do? When do you let yourself slide?

Thanks for pretending...

Oops, IWSG a little too late...

Now I'm in trouble, not just a day late and a dollar short, but two!

Happiest New Year to everyone. I hope you have a moment to take a deep breath and feel the biting chill of winter (or the golden heat of summer depending on your hemisphere). I hope you feel the world spinning and admire the changes of our beautiful planet as it turns through its cycle of life.

I hope you enjoy your favorite tea and hear birds or water or wind. And I hope you find that tiny fire inside you that keeps you in motion, that burns with the desire to create.

Apologies for my delayed participation and my continued absence from writing.

January 5 question - What's the one thing about your writing career you regret the most? Were you able to overcome it?

My only regret to date is that I often confuse my critical mind with my insecure, imposter-fearing mind. The two are so entangled that an attempt to make improvements quickly turns into self-doubt and even fear. I hope I am overcoming it by persevering.

I got to go home for the new year and see my family for the first time in over a year (or more). It felt good to be on familiar ground and to talk to familiar faces. My heart swelled to hear that someone was following my blog, reading my work, or even looking forward to some of my other stories being published. It was a renewal of passion for me. One cousin joked that he expected me to be a rocket scientist by now. What on Earth was I doing working at a childcare center? I laughed. I'd like to see a rocket scientist try to do my job! Perhaps I just developed another story... CHILDCARE IN SPACE! But honestly, I have too much interest in people and Earth. The closest I will ever get to a rocket is writing about one.

Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for your continued support. Your reading gives me a reason to continue writing. 

All the best!

The awesome co-hosts for the January 5 posting of the IWSG are Erika Beebe, Olga Godim, Sandra Cox, Sarah Foster, and Chemist Ken!

As always, follow the link by clicking the badge below to view more writers' blogs.

Congratulations to all the Anthology Winners this year. I can't wait to read it!

Time to Come Back - I hope!

For some odd reason, I walk by my desk like I am a teenager trying to sneak into my parents' house at 3AM. Ever since I moved into this new house, and for some time before, I have been incapable of sitting down to work on my novel. I can count on one finger the number of times I sat down to write anything.

I don't think it is just the stress of the move or the ordinary family issues that come with middle age, marriage, and kids. It definitely is not depression, trust me, I have been there before, more than once. But what is it?

The past year, working on edits and rewriting has been such a challenge. Life, in general, is a challenge, but something else is wafting from this work in progress. Trying to work on it is like that time my mom tried to get me to eat fried okra. I cried and gagged and screamed and fought. It was so, so, so nasty. It tasted like it had spent a week molding in the kitchen sink and was growing the slime to prove it. Perhaps the worst part about this metaphor is that I now eat fried okra with very little trouble. One day, I will look back at this moment of writer's block and think how childish I was to be so resistant to the work that needed to be done. 

All the positive reinforcement and the kind words of others seem to do very little to budge this stubborn toddler inside me that refuses to get any work done. Unpacking boxes and mopping the kitchen floor is so much more fun. (Seriously, this is where I am.) 

Giving myself a one-hour timer doesn't work either. I just know I won't be able to accomplish anything in that short time, so why bother? (Sounds just like my 7-year-old son.) 

I also know I do not want to put this aside and try again later. So I rewatch old movies, bake diabetes in the kitchen, organize the chaos in our terrible new house, and slowly peek around the corner at my desk to see if it has noticed my absence. Will it give me a sign when it is ready for me to return? Will I know when I am ready? 

Gallons of tea, hundreds of sighs, and still nothing created. Time for something a little stronger. Maybe some margaritas and some yelling? Or, given the time of year, some homemade egg nog with Scotch Whiskey. (Miss you, Grandma!) Although I like it with bourbon, too. (Wish I could visit earlier, Gran!)

Let's do this! Big SIGH! Get that task list back out and take the next step forward. And if there are any steps back, I'll pretend I'm dancing. (I am one of those moms. I totally woke up my kids this morning by dancing outside their rooms with Elton John Christmas music playing on my phone. They love me.)

Today is the Winter Solstice. I hope we all see a little bit more light coming into our lives with each day. I will greet dark times as tunnels that must be traveled through. There is no reason to stay there for a vacation. Continue the journey. Find renewal.

November IWSG - Blurb Shlurb

Advance apologies, I am moving into a new house and things are insane. New responsibilities at work, lots of packing and cleaning, and still revising that novel manuscript. I can rest when I'm dead I suppose. I'm sure one day I will be bored and look back at this busy time with longing...maybe.

This month's question is super easy...

November 3 question - What's harder to do, coming up with your book title or writing the blurb?

The awesome co-hosts for the November 3 posting of the IWSG are Kim Lajevardi, Victoria Marie Lees, Joylene Nowell Butler, Erika Beebe, and Lee Lowery!

My answer...

The blurb is way harder. Actually, I hate the word 'blurb.' It sounds stupid.

Maybe by the time I finish with this manuscript, the blurb will be a breeze!

Have a great month, remember to be thankful for all of your blessings!

As soon as I am moved and settled, I'll upload a photo of my new writing space!

October IWSG - Not Dead, Yet

Thank goodness September is over, and I hope my whirlwind of stress is too. (Although I am not naive enough to believe it is...)

I took the month "off" from blogging, short/flash fiction writing, reading, and pretty much everything except a small task list. I never stopped working on my novel. I kept weekly tasks and deadlines and met regularly with my coach, but I did not put extra pressure to move any mountains. 

The Insecure Writers Support Group is such an important part of my author journey that I simply cannot miss the blog hop. So here I am, sipping my cup of tea, soaking in the last of my birthday energy, and hopping along.

October 6 question - In your writing, where do you draw the line, with either topics or language?

I think writing is the perfect place to cross the line "with topics." What other chance do we have to experience the thoughts in someone else's mind? When else are we forced to listen to someone without injecting our own opinion? If a topic conjures emotions and reactions, then it is because we are seeing into someone else's thoughts. Even if that person is a villain (real or fiction) they will have their own thoughts. The great thing about writing is no one is required to read it. Readers can put it down whenever they want.

I personally would hope that my words would never cause someone to stop reading. This is one reason why I do try to use language that is widely accepted. I work with kids, so word choice is a big part of my daily life. I spend a lot of time helping kids choose the best words to express themselves. Most importantly, I teach them to choose words that do not hurt others. Maybe that is one reason I like Science Fiction. I can come up with insulting words that mean nothing to "Earthers."

The awesome co-hosts for the October 6 posting of the IWSG are Jemima Pett, J Lenni Dorner, Cathrina Constantine, Ronel Janse van Vuuren, and Mary Aalgaard!

My plans for this month involve continuing my limited task list to revise my novel, keeping up my writing meetings, and supporting writers in this community.

Book Review - A Memory Called Empire

I must apologize for being absent for so long. I was in a bit of a rocky place with my own writing, my personal life, and my full-time day job. I stopped in for the blog hop, but failed to actually do any hopping! I will be getting to that later this week. 

My other good excuse is I was engrossed in a book! Which is a GOOD thing. It was a good release, and helpful in a few ways.

I recently reread my favorite book, my "gateway" book, Dune. It had to be done. In my mind it was perfection and I found myself wanting to emulate it without actually knowing why. After reading it, I realized why using it as a model would never work. Modern readers would likely not appreciate some of the exposition and simplistic ideas Herbert uses. This type of writing is for cult followers. I recently read in a review that if you have not fallen in love with Dune before you are married, then you will not love it at all. I think that is an accurate statement. It lacks the amount of complexity that mature readers seek today.

This set me on the search for a modern variant. I made several lists and eventually was limited by the two, very short shelves of Science Fiction located in my local library. But I am forever grateful for the book that eventually made its way into my hands. 

Here is my review from Goodreads. 

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I might give this 5, but I would have to read it again, which I may eventually do. I liked the "complex" grammar. Having to reread a sentence or paragraph does not bother me when it is packed with so much meaning. Martine does this effectively, I think.

I enjoyed the worldbuilding. I think Martine has created a fantastic universe and described it well. She includes clear references to the ancient cultures of Central and South America, which I enjoyed personally since I studied pre-colonial cultures in college.

I love the unique qualities of the two main cultures, the interesting way they receive names (number + noun), and the use of futuristic technology to preserve the most valuable people in the limited society of space station life.

I have searched for months for a modern Sci-Fi book to drift away in. This book met my needs completely. I wanted to get lost in new civilizations, explore human conflicts in the future, and travel across space. I needed a newer version of my favorites (Le Guin universe), and I think this succeeds. It has the layers of tension that modern audiences want more of, addresses the modern questions we have about how love looks without the restrictions we see in our own societies, and requires a certain level of knowledge about our own history to be truly understood.

I also love the use of poetry. I love how Martine uses it to build our understanding of the main culture and how she uses it to pull us in and make us feel like outsiders at the same time. It helped me connect with the main character, who was also an outsider. I see her desire to want to be included and understand why she could not be.

Most of the book is third-person limited, following the main character, with a few interludes that give a small piece of the unknown backstory. I think this was effective, but the single point of view was perhaps too limiting for my taste.

I think I lost a little of the understanding of the overarching threat in the book, which is likely more valuable to the sequels. It was tricky for me to fully understand the larger motivations of the societies. I think if I get the chance to reread it, I will better understand that part by giving less attention to understanding the character and her world.

As a writer working on a debut novel, this was a perfect model for creating a fresh work of science fiction that can still captivate modern readers and their own increasingly complex perspectives.

View all my reviews

September IWSG - Responsibility and Success

If you do not care to hear about the personal drama swirling in my head, skip to the question...PLEASE

As I sit here writing this (at the last minute, Tuesday night) I am devouring my gluten-free, sugar-free, mug cookie (which is absolutely fantastic, seriously, butter, cashew butter, honey, gluten-free pancake mix, oats, choc. chips) and I am completely over it. ALL of it. (It = humans). 

I just can't focus on my writing until this is out of my mind.

If you have followed me for a while, you know that I was a teacher until right before the pandemic. Something told me it was time for a break so when I moved across the country I switched my day job to childcare. And fate has been laughing ever since. One month later, the schools shut down and my childcare center was flooded with school-aged kids with nowhere else to go. Fast forward (17 months) and last week was the first week they all went back to school! FINALLY!

But wait! We are exhausted, all of us, every teacher, parent, worker, employer, human being... I like to think I am a compassionate person, but the unbelievable chaos of the past two weeks (which should have been my chance to relax) has me angry and frustrated. Positive Covid cases, classrooms quarantining, employees and kids not following the rules... I'm just over it. 

Seriously, stop reading here and skip to the question. At this point, I'm whining.

Where do we draw the line between self-care and caring for others? Why do some of us continue to sacrifice and push ourselves to our limits while others take a step back? Why does having a bad sunburn mean you can't come to work? (Trust me, I know how it feels. I got one two weeks ago. I forgot to ask anyone to do my back after I took care of everyone else. It is hot and cold and feels like my shirt is made of sandpaper and my bra is razor wire. I get it!) Is it selfish to put your own comfort first? Should we "self-care" every time we have a stomach cramp, a sore ankle, lose our voice, get a migraine? Do some people just lack the sense of responsibility to do a job despite hardships?

If you are still reading this, I am so sorry! I am just in shock when I think about the contradiction I am seeing. Take care of yourself OR serve others. But is it truly taking care of yourself if you can do both? Is pain and discomfort far worse than the burden you place on others to do your responsibilities? Is the human race becoming weak? I've seen a diabetic coworker go through chemotherapy and be at work every day, and at the same time seen another coworker call out two days EVERY week. How are we so far apart in how we view our duties? I know we have different limits, but do we really?

Is it a matter of integrity? How do we wake others up to their responsibilities? How do we move them toward strength? How do we lead others to find honor and pride in their daily work? And how do we continue to trust and feel supportive towards others' pain when we are taken advantage of so often?

*****

PLEASE START READING HERE FOR THE QUESTION OF THE MONTH

September 1 question - How do you define success as a writer? Is it holding your book in your hand? Having a short story published? Making a certain amount of income from your writing?

The awesome co-hosts for the September 1 posting of the IWSG are Rebecca Douglass, T. Powell Coltrin @Journaling Woman, Natalie Aguirre, Karen Lynn, and C. Lee McKenzie!

This one is hard, especially when my mind is fully clouded by daily stress and this strange inability to focus on my writing at all. Every time I sit down to work on my novel, my mind fills with fog. I have plenty to do on my list, my revisions are just sitting there, waiting for me, and I'm staring at the screen like I do not know how to use a keyboard.

I have held a book in my hand with my name at the top of some of the pages. My short story was published earlier this year. I even got that first royalty check this week! I consider this a huge success, but is this my definition of "success as a writer?" I honestly don't know. I feel like I will consider myself successful when this novel is fully revised and ready to publish. If... (I mean when) When I make it that far, it will be a success because it means I have made it through the fire swamp alive. The next time I enter, I will feel confident. That confidence is my success. If I know I can do something, then I can do it. 

Please click on the badge below for a complete list of participants in the IWSG Blog Hop. Have a great month. Find your strength!

IWSG - August - Craft Books

August 4 question - What is your favorite writing craft book? Think of a book that every time you read it you learn something or you are inspired to write or try the new technique. And why?

The awesome co-hosts for the August 4 posting of the IWSG are PK Hrezo, Cathrina Constantine, PJ Colando, Kim Lajevardi, and Sandra Cox!

When it comes to specific parts of the craft, the most used book on my (virtual) shelf is J. Lenni Dorner's Preparing to Write Settings that Feel Like Characters. I use the worksheet often to think through scenes and improve my worldbuilding.

For the broader craft, and for that "inspiration," I have kept Writing Fantasy & Science Fiction close at hand. It includes plenty of details for multiple aspects of writing and several good examples. Each technique is usually followed up by a list of authors who employ it successfully. When I first bought the book, I had not written anything except ideas in a journal. I also had not read more than a handful of authors in the genre (always returning to my favorites). The inspiration I have gotten from the book is as valuable as the advice.

I have a few others that have never been opened! Balancing time is difficult when there are so many books. What book do you go to? Do you think I would benefit from a new favorite?

Want to visit more blogs? Click the badge below for the full list of participants.

Temptation of a Break

Although it is not an "insecure writer" day, I needed to express my insecurities! 

I may have said I was too stubborn to quit, but having a break sure felt nice! I am openly admitting that I have done very little writing in the past few weeks. Here are some reasons...

• I started a new project. The ideas flooded really quickly, I managed to create a basic outline, and I started drafting the first two tales. But the dreadful voice of the imposter crept into my mind, daring me to give up. Tales are quite different from modern stories and their obsession with "show, don't tell," and the demonization of the passive voice. How could I expect to successfully navigate this style?

• My novel draft is being reviewed by my coach. He is making sure my notes and draft match, checking for disconnections between my intentions and my execution, and asking a few questions for clarification. I feel frozen until I see that final comment.

• I have an overwhelming feeling that the novel is just too clean and dry. The plot is possibly too shallow and the story too short. There is much more I would like to tell, and I am unsure how to include it all. I want the reader to have a perfect picture of the cultures I created. I want them to see and smell each scene and relate to the struggles. What is that perfect formula for description? Did I miss it? Should the villain be more villain-y? Did I skip the most important scenes? The ones that would really make the reader angry at the "bad guy?"

• I feel like the more time I spend away from the story, the more ideas I develop for making it better. But I also feel like that time spent away clouds my perspective a little. There is too much to fit in my head at once. A huge part of me wants to put this manuscript aside, and try something different as my "debut novel." I love this story so much. I do not want to see it rushed or incomplete. It deserves a better writer than the one I am right now.

Luckily, I am smart enough to know most of this is just insecurity. But I am also wise enough to know insecurities grow from the roots of reality. These are warnings—signs of possible weaknesses to be addressed. The expertise and multiple perspectives of a critique group might be the solution, but I have no idea how to find an effective one. Maybe that should be my next step. 

Hopefully, I will be inspired to write so much this week I will have a more positive post to share with you! Until next time, tout le bonheur du monde!

Sidenote:  Another reason I did not write much...

I rented a copy of The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy and reading it has made me furious. The short stories inside infuriate me so much I kept putting the book down. These were selected from thousands of stories. I wanted to look up to them and feel inspired by their classification as the best. But, the first story rambled on and on and on and on. After four attempts, I made it through and it just ended. The story finally reached the moment of decision, the moment of discovery, except the character did not reveal the discovery or make the decision!  The next one was almost the same! Backstory, first-person rambling, tons of incomplete sentences, big mystery about the "chosen one," then POOF! Story over. The last words were literally:  "You'll learn soon enough, Krit. For now, it's enough to know that they're the Bad Guys." And he's gone. No! No, I will not learn soon enough, because you stopped writing! And the third story was awesome! That is where I stopped. I was afraid to ruin the awesomeness. I did not hate any of these stories. They were each well-written and engaging. However, it was disheartening to read winning entries that fail to meet basic submission guidelines (like having a complete story with an ending). I would love to submit my own stories, but those doors are closed right now and I await my chance with impatience. Anyways, expect a full review later this month!

July IWSG - Too Stubborn to Quit

Welcome to the monthly blog hop. As always, follow the link by clicking the badge below to see the full list of participating blogs.

The awesome co-hosts for the July 7 posting of the IWSG are Pat Garcia, Victoria Marie Lees, Chemist Ken, and Louise – Fundy Blue!

July's question - What would make you quit writing?

My first instinct was to respond, "Nothing." But as a writer, I am far too creative for such a simple response!

After thinking about the possibilities, I am getting images from the movie Inkheart. If my writing suddenly conjured terrible things into reality and the end of the world was growing closer and closer, I just might quit. 

If I was not the cause of the apocalypse, society as we knew it collapsed, and we had no electricity or resources for writing I would probably quit and become the creepy village storyteller.

The truth is, even if I did not continue to write for others, I would always write for myself. The written word is my brain's medium. I understand written language better than verbal communication. I prefer movies with subtitles on, and I channel my thoughts better on a page than I do out loud. 

Writing is my connection to the larger world and my pathway into my own mind.

*****

Head over to the Write, Edit, Publish website, too! I wrote a guest post about Writing with Change in Mind.

Also, there is a new video about Dark Matter:  Artificial. Check it out!

Thinking Happy Thoughts

I am not sure which is more exciting, that my story won the June 2021 WEP, or that my three-year-old just pooped in a toilet instead of her pants (for the first time)! What a fantastic day!

I am going to admit, staying positive can be difficult. I sometimes reread the "average" reviews for my published short story and wonder if perhaps it was missing something that makes readers love stories. I am definitely not suffering from any illusions that all my stories are absolutely fantastic. I also completely understand the feedback labeling my work as confusing. I did not become a writer to create "normal" stories. Regardless, I feel accomplished just being part of the anthology. To my knowledge, no one has given me a one-star review, so I call it a win. I would love to read some reviews from people who regularly read science fiction, though. Most of the reviews I've read mention the genre is not their favorite. So, if you are a science fiction fan, pick up the anthology and drop us a review!

I am certainly grateful for any review. You can read the most recent full review here. There are also reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. Reading honest reviews helps me improve!

And on to the happier thoughts...(not the poo).

Winners were announced for the June 2021 WEP competition.

Congrats to all the winners:

Steph - Winner

Kalpana - Runner Up

Jemi - Encouragement Award

Pat - Team's Choice

Brilliant Debut Awards went to:

Jackie

Anne

Pennie

Such a great collection of stories and art. I have been very inspired by this challenge and am working on a treat for my readers involving some very beautiful artwork combined with some hopefully enjoyable stories. I need a few weeks to work on it, so maybe by the end of July!

Keep thinking happy thoughts!

Another scene rewrite!

Things are going pretty smoothly with the first round of revision. I have surpassed my goal of 4 scenes per week and made it all the way to scene 32 last night. But I did find a hiccup in scene 31 and it made me laugh, so I wanted to share it with you.

In scene 31, the "final battle" is beginning. The main characters are standing on opposite sides, ready to take lives for their beliefs. But then, one of the characters basically tells his side, "Don't kill anyone yet," and he goes off to do something on the other side of the city.

I cannot stop laughing about this. What was I thinking? Who stands between two warring groups and decides they need to leave in order to solve the problem? Maybe there is something in a later scene that explains why this works, but I doubt it. 

Honestly, it sounds like an old British war tale. They stopped the front line because the general needed to go get some more tea first. From a writer's perspective, it is not a good idea to lead the reader away from the action in a critical time. There might be a scene change to prolong the drama, but the characters should not lead the reader away from the fight. (Unless that is their role as a coward.)

Luckily, I am ahead of my own scheduled deadline and have plenty of time to stop and fix this issue. I knew I would need to rewrite the ending, so it is not a surprise. I just had no idea I wrote this scene like that.

Fifteen-Year Friendship

Fifteen years ago today, I sat across the table from a guy who was way too skinny and way too tall. We were at a small, local pizza place in Maumelle, Arkansas.

The server approaches and asks for our order and the guy says, "Could you put 'buh-non-nuh' on the pizza? Like a Caribbean pizza?"

The server looks clueless and glances at me. "He is asking if you offer banana as a topping," I translate. She laughs, we order pineapple on his half and continue our meal. Clearly, all the signs pointed to this guy being a completely bizarre friend who would provide me with plenty of amusing moments. (Even if he did eat pineapple on his pizza.)

When the check is brought to our table, he slides it closer to himself and says, "If I pay, then I get to call this a date."

Really? Is that how it worked? A few months earlier, I met the guy while he was on a date with my best friend. I was still semi-engaged to my high school sweetheart and going to college. I just returned from studying abroad in France and had so many ideas about how I wanted my family to be.

Less than a month after I met him, though, my quasi-fiance walked, I could not sleep at night or eat anything, and overnight, all my friends were too concerned with picking a side that they ignored me completely.

But then I met this guy again. I swore he grew another five inches taller and his accent was even harder to understand, but I clearly understood him when he asked if I was gay. "You seem to hate men," he said. "And you are wearing a commie hat." He was referring to my short-brimmed cap that maybe looked a bit like something Castro wore. I laughed and went to get my sunglasses out of my car. We were at a park near a "mountain." At least that is what people in Arkansas call it.

"You drive a manual?!" he asked. We exchanged phone numbers and I was put in the Nokia bar phone as "Manual Mustang Girl."

The following week, he and my best friend came up with a plan to find me a good boyfriend. I am not sure why. I had my own apartment. I was doing great in school. I had plans to go to grad school anywhere else. But I went along with it. No taller than 5' 10", spiritual or at least open-minded, college or trade required, likes to do outdoor things, knows about cars, appreciates my art and cooking...I don't even remember the rest. 

Since this guy was "not from 'round here," and in circles I was not, he agreed to keep an eye out. 

Then late one night, I got a text. A text! Those things cost money! I didn't pay for those. So I called him. "You know I don't want to pay for messages, just call me, I have plenty of minutes. No one else calls and my mom is in my circle."

We talked for about an hour, it was the middle of the night. Then he said he rented some Monty Python DVD's from the Movie Gallery where he worked. I had not seen those in ages. "I'll come over," I said.

Before I knew it, we were movie buddies. He got a discount on rentals, and I love anime, and we talked on the phone when I couldn't sleep. He promised to make me a cake. He made jokes about fitting every description on my list.

"No, you are too tall."

"That is only one thing. I really like doing stuff outdoors and I don't know anything fun to do here. There is no beach. I grew up in Cape Town, beside an actual mountain between two whole oceans!"

"We have a mountain, you went to it. And yes, there is a beach. It is on a lake."

"There's a lake? See, I need someone to show me around. A local."

"You are 6' 7"! But I do like cake."

"Well, I will make a cake tonight, but let's go get pizza first. Can't have any pudding if you don't eat your pizza."

"I thought you said cake."

"Yes, cake is pudding."

"That does not make sense."

And that is how he ruined my visual image of a bunch of British children trying to take chocolate pudding without eating their meat.

So we went for that pizza. Fifteen years ago. What a friendship! Married eleven years, two kids, and many adventures behind us and ahead. I don't even mind the pineapple on my pizza, as long as it is gluten-free. Plus, we finally live closer to an ocean and visit it almost every weekend.

June Insecure Writers Support Group

June 2 question - For how long do you shelve your first draft, before reading it and re-drafting? Is this dependent on your writing experience and the number of stories/books under your belt?

The awesome co-hosts for the June 2 posting of the IWSG are J Lenni Dorner, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, Lee Lowery, and Rachna Chhabria!

I am going to "sort of" answer this prompt.

I am currently revising the fourthish first draft of my first novel. If that statement is not confusing you, then you are doing better than me.

I finished the latest first draft at the beginning of March (I think). In March, I printed my scene outline and started making notes based on what I wanted to add/change. April, I made some insane life choices, like signing up for the A to Z Challenge and getting my lifeguard certification, while still working overtime every week at my day job, preparing my daughter for her first dance recital, and receiving my parents for a visit. (Oh, and homeschooling my son.)

Now May is over and I am halfway through the first set of revisions. Unfortunately, I find myself stuck. I made a lot of useful notes, I am working scene by scene to make those characters grow and reveal the right details at the right time, but I have literally lost myself as a reader. I really want to put this whole project away and start on one of a dozen other ideas I have, but I fear this makes me a quitter.

I tried reading more for inspiration, but it was not as useful as I remembered. I see the arcs clearly in other novels, I follow character growth, think about weaknesses and quirks, and watch the morals clash. But for some reason, I am not satisfied with my own versions. In addition to this, I have realized one more thing I hate about my draft. Since learning to self-edit my published short story I have been very careful with my overused words and my phrasing. But now I am realizing the draft is dry. It has no voice and feels too clean.

Technically, I should not be worried about this yet. I have a few ideas for solving that issue when the time comes, including putting back a POV I removed several months back. For now, I will focus on my main character and how readers will relate to her as the story unfolds. 

I would like to hope this process will be quicker next time, but I have a feeling several of you just laughed at the first half of this sentence.

Happy Towel Day

I just wanted to pop in and say Happy Towel Day to everyone!

What a fun day. It also happens to be my son's birthday, so I wanted to share a funny story about this day seven years ago (involving towels). 

My kids were born at home, and the first time, things were not exactly on schedule. Nothing was ready, my dates were off, and I had no clue I was in labor. I remember continually bothering my husband (who was busy murdering zombies on his computer). "I feel funny and I keep having to stand still."

Anyways, there are a lot of other details to this story that I won't share here, but when the midwife arrived she sent him to gather fresh towels and other items. I was in the middle of doing laundry for the week and had not finished. In walks my husband with an arm full of towels straight out of the washing machine. He was trying so hard to be helpful and the midwife politely informed him that the towels needed to be dry. 

Very shortly after, my incredible son was wrapped in a dolphin beach towel instead of the new, fancy ones I bought for the homebirth. I find this all highly appropriate given the coincidence of towel day and the importance of dolphins as the second most intelligent creatures on Earth. 

Not only should you always have your towel, but you should also always have clean towels!

I hope you all have a wonderful day! So long and thanks for all the fish!

We still have the towel! (And the kid...)

Melancholy? Pensiveness?

As a member of the Insecure Writer Support Group, I feel the need to share a moment of insecurity. I have found myself in a rather gloomy state, and no idea why. I do not particularly feel sad or depressed, but more like how one would feel after falling off a bike and no one saw it happen. That moment after you get a shock and some pain and have absolutely no one to share the experience with. 

The irony in this is I recently had a pleasant meal at a new friend's house. Of course, my husband insisted we take our kids, and that was as expected. But it is strange to me that after a moment of socializing I would feel a touch "alone" the following day. 

Was it simply a reminder that I was capable of meeting new people but terrible at it? A reminder that life is rather repetitive and simple (which is really just fine with me!)? My social anxiety is not crippling, but it does weigh heavily on me and perhaps this is just the first time I have had it in a while. Could it be a drop after adrenaline?

Why am I putting this out there. Because I felt insecure and I wanted to express the fact that it is okay. So I feel blue, so what? I will just go with it. I'm planning my son's birthday adventure (I don't do parties...maybe next year), signing him up for performing arts lessons, my daughter is using the potty without being prompted, I will finally get to attend a Con this summer, my first story was just published, my novel edits are moving along smoothly, the engineer and contractor are meeting to set up a timeline for our house, and I feel a little sad. No biggie. 

Strangely my first thought was, What did I eat? Then I decided I should probably just meditate. Now, I am thinking it is time to hit the gym and finish with some yoga.

I have become increasingly aware of the direct connection between physical and mental state, so I know it is time to do some self-love. I spent the entire day outside yesterday, editing under an umbrella. Maybe I just need some movement to go with that nature. I wish there was a good hiking trail to do some walking meditation. As much as I love exercising, the gym comes with a level of anxiety that is counterproductive. 

What do you do when you feel a bit insecure? Do you ever get a strange moment of "slowness" when you feel a little down even though you have plenty going on?

Writing meditation is also a trick of mine, but I did not feel like finding my old journal. This seemed like an okay place to get out some words. Thanks for your visit!

Book update:

Currently editing scene 9 of 35.

Current word count:  72872 

Goal:  Edit 4 scenes per week, including initial edits to identify issues with arcs, sequencing, action, and dialogue.

Tea:  Sweet & Spicy (Original Decaf)