Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Another scene rewrite!

Things are going pretty smoothly with the first round of revision. I have surpassed my goal of 4 scenes per week and made it all the way to scene 32 last night. But I did find a hiccup in scene 31 and it made me laugh, so I wanted to share it with you.

In scene 31, the "final battle" is beginning. The main characters are standing on opposite sides, ready to take lives for their beliefs. But then, one of the characters basically tells his side, "Don't kill anyone yet," and he goes off to do something on the other side of the city.

I cannot stop laughing about this. What was I thinking? Who stands between two warring groups and decides they need to leave in order to solve the problem? Maybe there is something in a later scene that explains why this works, but I doubt it. 

Honestly, it sounds like an old British war tale. They stopped the front line because the general needed to go get some more tea first. From a writer's perspective, it is not a good idea to lead the reader away from the action in a critical time. There might be a scene change to prolong the drama, but the characters should not lead the reader away from the fight. (Unless that is their role as a coward.)

Luckily, I am ahead of my own scheduled deadline and have plenty of time to stop and fix this issue. I knew I would need to rewrite the ending, so it is not a surprise. I just had no idea I wrote this scene like that.


  1. Hari OM
    ...Who stands between two warring groups and decides they need to leave in order to solve the problem?...

    Have you read the Bhagavad Gita??!!!

    There is the giant work called the Mahabharata in which the entiretiy of the Pandavas and the Kauravas is given. But at the point where the two families reach boiling point and face each other in battle, the leader of the Pandavas is in the field between the two sides and has a panic attack - for the Kauravas are his cousins and uncles and teachers and he does not wish to fight them. The chapters where he discusses with his charioteer (who happens to be Lord Krishna) and reasons out all of life, are self-contained and known as the Song of The Lord.

    Mind you, it is also a bit Monty Python! YAM xx

    1. I have read it but it has been a while. I remember this now! Time for a reread.