IWSG JUNE - Still Writing

 Well, I'm a day late! Thank goodness for Fundy Blue or I would have never realized I missed it! Thanks for visiting my blog!

Progress is slow, but going. I received my first beta reader feedback a few weeks ago, and it kind of blew me away. It was overwhelmingly positive, which I wasn't expecting. There was a lot of good advice from both readers, one a SciFi fan, the other not. But it's so hard to quiet the little critic in the mind. What if they were just being nice since they're paid betas? What if they don't really know what they are talking about? What if this is a random match and everyone else hates it?

Seriously? What is with that voice? 

Don't worry, I don't let that get me down, but it does slow me down a little. I see this as a good thing though. It makes me look deeper and think carefully.

Some of the advice revolved around exploring relationships the main characters have with their own family/culture. That would be a good way to increase the Worldbuilding and help the reader better understand the complex mythology. 

Since the feedback related to pacing or sequence was good, there are no major revisions. But I'm still taking my time to ensure I carefully work in any new scenes. Part of me wants to get more feedback before making changes, but I'm not sure. Maybe make a few small changes first?

I also have plotted and begun drafting another novel. This one is more fantasy, and a lot of fun to write. It's Asian-inspired since I've always admired the artwork and mythology of that part of our world. (And because I watch a little too much K-Drama. I may or may not be completely obsessed with Alchemy of Souls...) I'll post more about that work later.

For now, here is the question of the month:

June 5 question - In this constantly evolving industry, what kind of offering/service do you think the IWSG should consider offering to members?

It would be nice to have an official beta reading group (paid and non-paid). I found my readers on Goodreads, and have my own little writing circle as well, but since we are already very supportive of each other here, it would be good to have a list of genres, preferences, and availability somewhere on IWSG. I know I can trust most of you to be honest and thorough. My Goodreads pick was random luck, I think, and my own writing circle is mostly fantasy and romance, so I automatically know my platonic character relationships will not entice them. General feedback is good, but I think feedback from the targeted audience would be more useful. 

This may already be established here and I just haven't come across it. So, if you're aware of a list or group, please comment and let me know. I am also part of a SciFi Discord, but I found that they are mostly hard SciFi and within the first paragraph of my novel, I was getting questions about how the gravity worked on the ship, and whether they would be safe traveling without seats to strap into. Fair point, but I'm more interested in the theoretical science of energy and matter and the philosophical side of culture and mythology, not so much about how their tech works...

I think I came across of list of editors and publishers, but that is another service that would be useful. Maybe we could even have "mentors" who help guide authors through the publishing world. 

I'm not sure what else, but I will visit the other author pages to get some ideas! Thanks for visiting!

The awesome co-hosts for the June 5 posting of the IWSG are Liza at Middle Passages, Shannon Lawrence, Melissa Maygrove, and Olga Godim!

IWSG May 2024 - Distractions

May Question:  How do you deal with distractions when you are writing? Do they derail you?

I always enjoyed teaching etymology to elementary students. I certainly do not have a deep knowledge of the subject, but enough to help a third-grader learn how to break up a word into its Greek or Latin parts.

When I look at the word distractions. I automatically see "dis" or apart, and "tions" for action or process. Then there is "tract." Now I see a flying Winnebago being pulled into Spaceball One by Lord Helmet. Tractor beams are such an interesting element of science fiction. It was orginally coined by an author, E. E. Smith, in 1931 as "attractor beam," then shortened to "tractor beam." Did this science fiction writing chemist from Wisconsin picture a farming tractor when he wrote the word? Invisible John Deeres pulling things around in space...

There, see how easily we were distracted? Am I the only one who can hear the music from the tractor tipping scene in Cars?

But seriously, I like breaking this word down because it serves a purpose in understanding distractions. When I think of my writing as a pull, an invisible tractor beam connecting me to a story or a small seed of inspiration, then it means that things that serve to pull me apart are in essence trying to damage that connection.

Yet, it happens. The problem is, I'm not necessarily an easily distracted person. Which is in fact why I do not write as much as I should. If I were to fully give into that pull, I would have no time for anything else. I would find my job, my responsibilities, even my family to be a complete drain. So I often find distractions on purpose because I can easily pause a streaming episode, or even put down a book (although that's much more difficult). But pausing creation is exhausting and frustrating. So in the evening, while my kids are awake, I avoid writing. I distract myself from that desire because I want to be present for every page of homework, every game of uno, and every dirty dish.

So here is my current contradiction. Writing makes me happy. I get great satisfaction and pleasure from creating. But not writing is far more enjoyable than writing with constant interruption. 

Side note:  I once kept a stopwatch running. At home and at work, I never made it more than 4 minutes without an interruption. 4 minutes was the longest!!! Hardly anything can be accomplished in that time! I cannot decide if this is going to cause dimentia or prevent it. What I do know, is it is exhausting and maddening. 

So how do I deal with distractions while writing? I avoid writing until there are minimal distractions, because distraction is my life and I can't stop my life to write. Accepting that reality was my best personal development of the past few years. 

Book Update:

My first scheduled beta reader has been out of contact for personal reasons so I found two new readers. I'm hoping for some feedback in the next few weeks. In the meantime I'm afraid to work on anything else. I'm not sure what is behind that fear, but I'm sitting with it patiently. It just doesn't seem right to pour my focus into another work yet. Besides, I know how this will go. I'll start a new project and immediately get feedback on the novel and then have to stop the new project to refocus on the old one. Distractions, interruptions, different words, same result.

Want to read what other authors do about distractions? Join the blog hop!

The awesome co-hosts for the May 1 posting of the IWSG are Victoria Marie Lees, Kim Lajevardi, Nancy Gideon, and Cathrina Constantine!

Where did 2023 Go?

 Did I really just miss a year with you guys? I can't believe it. And I missed the February IWSG! I never was good at keeping a friendship going. But that being said, I'm extremely loyal if I ever do make a friend! Just don't expect me to want to hang out on the regular or to plan dinners. Just thinking about that gives me anxiety.

You didn't miss much. Life went on. Day after day my day job got in the way of my desire to be independently wealthy so I could write, garden, and do yoga all the time. 

I did complete a round of edits on my novel manuscript in July, and then hid it away, afraid of the next step.

Before Thanksgiving, I broke a toe. Then in December, I underwent laser eye surgery (voluntarily). It was probably the worst and most painful recovery of my life (and I homebirthed two kids). Shortly after that, I finished my yoga teacher training (mostly blind and with a broken toe).

So here I am, clear vision, glasses-free, without my limp, and ready to go!

I would like to thank my family for all their well wishes, and my husband for taking good care of me. But mostly I want to thank Martha Wells!!!!! The Murderbot Series audiobooks got me through that awful recovery. It is amazing what a good book (and pranayama) can do when you are trapped in your own mind and drowning in pain. I swear, Murderbot and I would definitely be friends (see above paragraph about my lacking friendship skills, then read the Murderbot series, and you will understand). We were meant for each other. It's hard living with humans!

I will be posting reviews of the books I read last year and some updates on the novel soon. 

Can't wait to write for you again!

I'll be getting this T-shirt! Click image for link to buy.

WIP Update - The Edits Continue

Two nights ago, I finished another pass and read the last words of my WIP. My son actually fell asleep on the ground behind me while I read the last few chapters out loud (which could be a bad sign...). But when he returned after a quick shower, he listened to the very last chapter quietly. 

When I reached the end, he asked, "Aren't you going to write some more words?" I told him that was the end, and tried to explain how it began (the end of a journey) versus how it ended (the start of a new journey), and how that seemed like a good way to close the story. Then he wanted me to read from the beginning. But it was bedtime.

I'm still high on the feeling of another milestone met! I know I'm still not done, though. I've fought with deciding the next step. I made a few notes along the way. There were two or three places that needed a quick revision to make the characters/plot consistent. Those are pretty much fixed now.

I reached out to my coach, but he can't meet until next week. 

So, here I sit, with tons of motivation and creative juices boiling, and no certain path.

I know there is more to do! I noticed something on this read, though. It's strange how stories and writing shift as the plot moves along. The beginnings are always more descriptive and once the action slips in, the story speeds up. I find myself questioning if that acceleration is the right amount, and if there is more that could be revealed to the reader throughout. 

I'm also afraid of those scenes when the character is experiencing something humans would not be able to fathom. Did I describe it well enough? Most of the reviews about my published short story contain the word "confusing." This is my ultimate fear now. Will the reader grasp the experience through my words?

So possible next steps:

• Make another pass and go even deeper with character voice and narrative description. 
• Focus on "out-of-body" scenes and sharpen the description.
• Focus on the mythology and reveal more to the reader (sooner?) so it doesn't come on so heavy.
• Add more to the secondary POV so the story has a stronger dual perspective (not much, maybe just one or two extra scenes/conversations).
• Put it away again and work on something else with all this creative fuel. (Really don't want to do this again! I need it to be fresh. Remembering an entire novel in your head while you make small changes without creating huge ripples is as hard as it sounds.)

Decisions, decisions.

While I consider these options, here is a piece of early description from the first chapter. I was working on making the description active so the reader learns about the scenery and the story while she explores.

She stood on top of the dune with her eyes closed, soaking in all the vibrations of the planet. She listened to the water—crashing, rolling, sliding, hissing away into tiny holes in the sand. A perfect decrescendo. The scene mesmerized her. Her surroundings comforted her and made her feel at home despite having absolutely no similarity to the constant sound of thrusters, air recyclers, and feet tapping on metal floors. Memories of past lives threatened to surface but she pushed them away. This moment was hers. The ancestors would not take this from her.

 I really like this paragraph. It reveals a lot about the character and the threshold in her life she is about to cross.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend/week. Enjoy the closest new moon in a thousand-year span. Pretty strong symbolism for new beginnings and long journeys!

Time to Come Back - I hope!

For some odd reason, I walk by my desk like I am a teenager trying to sneak into my parents' house at 3AM. Ever since I moved into this new house, and for some time before, I have been incapable of sitting down to work on my novel. I can count on one finger the number of times I sat down to write anything.

I don't think it is just the stress of the move or the ordinary family issues that come with middle age, marriage, and kids. It definitely is not depression, trust me, I have been there before, more than once. But what is it?

The past year, working on edits and rewriting has been such a challenge. Life, in general, is a challenge, but something else is wafting from this work in progress. Trying to work on it is like that time my mom tried to get me to eat fried okra. I cried and gagged and screamed and fought. It was so, so, so nasty. It tasted like it had spent a week molding in the kitchen sink and was growing the slime to prove it. Perhaps the worst part about this metaphor is that I now eat fried okra with very little trouble. One day, I will look back at this moment of writer's block and think how childish I was to be so resistant to the work that needed to be done. 

All the positive reinforcement and the kind words of others seem to do very little to budge this stubborn toddler inside me that refuses to get any work done. Unpacking boxes and mopping the kitchen floor is so much more fun. (Seriously, this is where I am.) 

Giving myself a one-hour timer doesn't work either. I just know I won't be able to accomplish anything in that short time, so why bother? (Sounds just like my 7-year-old son.) 

I also know I do not want to put this aside and try again later. So I rewatch old movies, bake diabetes in the kitchen, organize the chaos in our terrible new house, and slowly peek around the corner at my desk to see if it has noticed my absence. Will it give me a sign when it is ready for me to return? Will I know when I am ready? 

Gallons of tea, hundreds of sighs, and still nothing created. Time for something a little stronger. Maybe some margaritas and some yelling? Or, given the time of year, some homemade egg nog with Scotch Whiskey. (Miss you, Grandma!) Although I like it with bourbon, too. (Wish I could visit earlier, Gran!)

Let's do this! Big SIGH! Get that task list back out and take the next step forward. And if there are any steps back, I'll pretend I'm dancing. (I am one of those moms. I totally woke up my kids this morning by dancing outside their rooms with Elton John Christmas music playing on my phone. They love me.)

Today is the Winter Solstice. I hope we all see a little bit more light coming into our lives with each day. I will greet dark times as tunnels that must be traveled through. There is no reason to stay there for a vacation. Continue the journey. Find renewal.

Temptation of a Break

Although it is not an "insecure writer" day, I needed to express my insecurities! 

I may have said I was too stubborn to quit, but having a break sure felt nice! I am openly admitting that I have done very little writing in the past few weeks. Here are some reasons...

• I started a new project. The ideas flooded really quickly, I managed to create a basic outline, and I started drafting the first two tales. But the dreadful voice of the imposter crept into my mind, daring me to give up. Tales are quite different from modern stories and their obsession with "show, don't tell," and the demonization of the passive voice. How could I expect to successfully navigate this style?

• My novel draft is being reviewed by my coach. He is making sure my notes and draft match, checking for disconnections between my intentions and my execution, and asking a few questions for clarification. I feel frozen until I see that final comment.

• I have an overwhelming feeling that the novel is just too clean and dry. The plot is possibly too shallow and the story too short. There is much more I would like to tell, and I am unsure how to include it all. I want the reader to have a perfect picture of the cultures I created. I want them to see and smell each scene and relate to the struggles. What is that perfect formula for description? Did I miss it? Should the villain be more villain-y? Did I skip the most important scenes? The ones that would really make the reader angry at the "bad guy?"

• I feel like the more time I spend away from the story, the more ideas I develop for making it better. But I also feel like that time spent away clouds my perspective a little. There is too much to fit in my head at once. A huge part of me wants to put this manuscript aside, and try something different as my "debut novel." I love this story so much. I do not want to see it rushed or incomplete. It deserves a better writer than the one I am right now.

Luckily, I am smart enough to know most of this is just insecurity. But I am also wise enough to know insecurities grow from the roots of reality. These are warnings—signs of possible weaknesses to be addressed. The expertise and multiple perspectives of a critique group might be the solution, but I have no idea how to find an effective one. Maybe that should be my next step. 

Hopefully, I will be inspired to write so much this week I will have a more positive post to share with you! Until next time, tout le bonheur du monde!

Sidenote:  Another reason I did not write much...

I rented a copy of The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy and reading it has made me furious. The short stories inside infuriate me so much I kept putting the book down. These were selected from thousands of stories. I wanted to look up to them and feel inspired by their classification as the best. But, the first story rambled on and on and on and on. After four attempts, I made it through and it just ended. The story finally reached the moment of decision, the moment of discovery, except the character did not reveal the discovery or make the decision!  The next one was almost the same! Backstory, first-person rambling, tons of incomplete sentences, big mystery about the "chosen one," then POOF! Story over. The last words were literally:  "You'll learn soon enough, Krit. For now, it's enough to know that they're the Bad Guys." And he's gone. No! No, I will not learn soon enough, because you stopped writing! And the third story was awesome! That is where I stopped. I was afraid to ruin the awesomeness. I did not hate any of these stories. They were each well-written and engaging. However, it was disheartening to read winning entries that fail to meet basic submission guidelines (like having a complete story with an ending). I would love to submit my own stories, but those doors are closed right now and I await my chance with impatience. Anyways, expect a full review later this month!

Another scene rewrite!

Things are going pretty smoothly with the first round of revision. I have surpassed my goal of 4 scenes per week and made it all the way to scene 32 last night. But I did find a hiccup in scene 31 and it made me laugh, so I wanted to share it with you.

In scene 31, the "final battle" is beginning. The main characters are standing on opposite sides, ready to take lives for their beliefs. But then, one of the characters basically tells his side, "Don't kill anyone yet," and he goes off to do something on the other side of the city.

I cannot stop laughing about this. What was I thinking? Who stands between two warring groups and decides they need to leave in order to solve the problem? Maybe there is something in a later scene that explains why this works, but I doubt it. 

Honestly, it sounds like an old British war tale. They stopped the front line because the general needed to go get some more tea first. From a writer's perspective, it is not a good idea to lead the reader away from the action in a critical time. There might be a scene change to prolong the drama, but the characters should not lead the reader away from the fight. (Unless that is their role as a coward.)

Luckily, I am ahead of my own scheduled deadline and have plenty of time to stop and fix this issue. I knew I would need to rewrite the ending, so it is not a surprise. I just had no idea I wrote this scene like that.

June Insecure Writers Support Group

June 2 question - For how long do you shelve your first draft, before reading it and re-drafting? Is this dependent on your writing experience and the number of stories/books under your belt?

The awesome co-hosts for the June 2 posting of the IWSG are J Lenni Dorner, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, Lee Lowery, and Rachna Chhabria!

I am going to "sort of" answer this prompt.

I am currently revising the fourthish first draft of my first novel. If that statement is not confusing you, then you are doing better than me.

I finished the latest first draft at the beginning of March (I think). In March, I printed my scene outline and started making notes based on what I wanted to add/change. April, I made some insane life choices, like signing up for the A to Z Challenge and getting my lifeguard certification, while still working overtime every week at my day job, preparing my daughter for her first dance recital, and receiving my parents for a visit. (Oh, and homeschooling my son.)

Now May is over and I am halfway through the first set of revisions. Unfortunately, I find myself stuck. I made a lot of useful notes, I am working scene by scene to make those characters grow and reveal the right details at the right time, but I have literally lost myself as a reader. I really want to put this whole project away and start on one of a dozen other ideas I have, but I fear this makes me a quitter.

I tried reading more for inspiration, but it was not as useful as I remembered. I see the arcs clearly in other novels, I follow character growth, think about weaknesses and quirks, and watch the morals clash. But for some reason, I am not satisfied with my own versions. In addition to this, I have realized one more thing I hate about my draft. Since learning to self-edit my published short story I have been very careful with my overused words and my phrasing. But now I am realizing the draft is dry. It has no voice and feels too clean.

Technically, I should not be worried about this yet. I have a few ideas for solving that issue when the time comes, including putting back a POV I removed several months back. For now, I will focus on my main character and how readers will relate to her as the story unfolds. 

I would like to hope this process will be quicker next time, but I have a feeling several of you just laughed at the first half of this sentence.

Melancholy? Pensiveness?

As a member of the Insecure Writer Support Group, I feel the need to share a moment of insecurity. I have found myself in a rather gloomy state, and no idea why. I do not particularly feel sad or depressed, but more like how one would feel after falling off a bike and no one saw it happen. That moment after you get a shock and some pain and have absolutely no one to share the experience with. 

The irony in this is I recently had a pleasant meal at a new friend's house. Of course, my husband insisted we take our kids, and that was as expected. But it is strange to me that after a moment of socializing I would feel a touch "alone" the following day. 

Was it simply a reminder that I was capable of meeting new people but terrible at it? A reminder that life is rather repetitive and simple (which is really just fine with me!)? My social anxiety is not crippling, but it does weigh heavily on me and perhaps this is just the first time I have had it in a while. Could it be a drop after adrenaline?

Why am I putting this out there. Because I felt insecure and I wanted to express the fact that it is okay. So I feel blue, so what? I will just go with it. I'm planning my son's birthday adventure (I don't do parties...maybe next year), signing him up for performing arts lessons, my daughter is using the potty without being prompted, I will finally get to attend a Con this summer, my first story was just published, my novel edits are moving along smoothly, the engineer and contractor are meeting to set up a timeline for our house, and I feel a little sad. No biggie. 

Strangely my first thought was, What did I eat? Then I decided I should probably just meditate. Now, I am thinking it is time to hit the gym and finish with some yoga.

I have become increasingly aware of the direct connection between physical and mental state, so I know it is time to do some self-love. I spent the entire day outside yesterday, editing under an umbrella. Maybe I just need some movement to go with that nature. I wish there was a good hiking trail to do some walking meditation. As much as I love exercising, the gym comes with a level of anxiety that is counterproductive. 

What do you do when you feel a bit insecure? Do you ever get a strange moment of "slowness" when you feel a little down even though you have plenty going on?

Writing meditation is also a trick of mine, but I did not feel like finding my old journal. This seemed like an okay place to get out some words. Thanks for your visit!

Book update:

Currently editing scene 9 of 35.

Current word count:  72872 

Goal:  Edit 4 scenes per week, including initial edits to identify issues with arcs, sequencing, action, and dialogue.

Tea:  Sweet & Spicy (Original Decaf)

Novel In Progress - Update

I am so excited to share some fantastic news with all of you. Last week I finished the first draft of my novel. I thought this would be the perfect time to reveal the title and perhaps set up some important goals for myself.

This rainbow appeared Wednesday while I was closing
at work. Hopefully a good omen!

If you have been following my journey, you know that this is technically not the "first" first draft, but actually closer to a third or fourth. The drafts have had some significant changes in their theme and plot, so I therefore refer to this as a first draft. 

I have been using a title for the past year and would love to keep it. I am aware there are other works with this title including a game and a non-fiction book about genetics, but I do not think this will impact my choice.

Title:  Altered Fates

I kind of want to share my premise, but I am not quite ready yet. I would like to save that reveal for right before I do my next round of edits, in case my current revisions change anything (crossing my fingers they do not). 

The draft is not quite as long as I intend the finished project to be, but I wanted to cover the bones of the plot first. The current word count is just under 70K and I want to be over 80K. That goal is within my reach since I am now working to make my settings and character arcs really shine. The first few attempts I made at creating a novel I focused on worldbuilding and making my characters and settings feel real. Unfortunately, this left my plot really unorganized and uninteresting. So I kept this to a minimum and focused on telling the story this time.

Thanks to my writing coach, I was able to take my ideas and create a structure. The experience of being part of my writing group has been priceless and my coach is fantastic. And I cannot say enough about the Insecure Writers Support Group because it all started there. One year ago, I moved across the country, started a new job, and picked up my old writing journal. We are still trapped in a tiny apartment, my job is constantly busy, and my writing adventure continues.

A glimpse of the beauty that awaits me.
Our house plans are under review with
the manufacturer.

Thank you for visiting and for your continued support of my dream to be an author. Because of this blog, I am soon to be published, and plan to have my novel available within the year. I can make it happen!

Sharing is Caring

 I feel like I do not get to share much of my work with anyone these days because I am so busy creating it! So I am taking some pieces from old drafts that will likely never make it to print and putting them here so they can at least create pictures in someone else's mind besides my own.

Today I am sharing a piece from attempt number two of my current work in progress (which is now in the third and final attempt to tell this damn story so I can move on with my life). ((Just kidding, I am enjoying the project and am working really hard to make it enjoyable for others too.)) (((But seriously, I would like to finish before the collapse of the USA.)))

Anyways...this piece is about one of my favorite characters. She has mysterious origins and only appears within the timeline of the story as a very old woman. Here is a glimpse of her childhood...

Helgi watched carefully as the moths flew in and out of the hive. They flapped and danced and zipped around, going out to collect nectar and pollen and coming back with pockets full of treasure for their queen. She waited for the right moment to push the suction comb into the bottom of the hive to extract the processed nectar called apina. The elders taught her how to extract it without getting a single sting. She hummed softly, raising and lowering her tone to match the coming and going of the moths. The comb had seventeen spikes on it that were hollow like straws and a carefully trained person could get a full jug from just one hive. She mindfully aimed the tips and pushed through the soft wax until she felt the cavity she was looking for. With her lips around the pointed end of the comb she pulled a gentle suction, stopping when the sweet liquid met her tongue. Quickly she placed the jug underneath and watched as the dark liquid poured in tiny swirls.

     Helgi wondered what ritual the elders would use this jug for. They only visited this hive for special times. It hung in a great tangle of thick, thorned bush that was taller than a man and wider than a house. They called this one the house of the spirits and told her the plant had great power. Helgi wasn’t sure she believed them. They were probably playing tricks on her and just never came here because it was uncomfortable to crawl through the tunnel of low branches to get to the center. They must have picked her because she was still small enough to get through. While she waited for the apina to stop dripping she licked a small scratch on her arm where a thorn had ripped her sleeve. She would have to mend that now.

     The elders found Helgi when she was just days old. Someone had abandoned her at the home of the Vessel halfway through the season of birth. She was an orphan, a truly rare occurrence. Most children had three parents, the likelihood of becoming orphaned was practically zero. But for some reason, that’s what she was. The Vessel said she was special and would one day be like him, she would be a Vessel, too. But she didn’t feel special and she was too full of anger to be full of light. She didn’t believe him.

     The dripping stopped and Helgi gently coaxed the comb out of the hive. She placed her shawl over the jug with the comb inside and started to crawl one handed out of the house of the spirits. Helgi felt a sudden pain in her palm and looked down to see a sharp, glassy stone. It was a deep red brown color like the apina and no bigger than her fingernail. When she turned it from side to side, it let out a faint glow. She put the stone in her belt sack and continued on her way home.

Déjà vu and Karma

In the wise words of Britney Spears, "I did it again."

I started the novel over...again. But I'm still not sure if I will be abandoning the 230 pages I have already written this year, or if I will be incorporating most of that in my new revision.

I swear it wasn't my fault. I decided to take a break from the novel since I was not 100% sure where I wanted to go next in the plot. While on that break I wrote a few short stories --one of which was a prequel to the novel. Now that I have read (written) what happens in the galaxy before my novel occurs, it changes everything! (Not everything, that was a little melodramatic.) But one of my major subplots no longer makes sense. 

The truth is, it needed to be done anyway. This is the difference between writing for my own pleasure and fully plotting a story for the pleasure of others. Face it, we all cut corners when no one is looking, and that is what I was doing. I was only writing the subplots that I enjoyed, the ones that made me feel happy and excited. But that is not life.

When I used to teach problem and solution in story telling, I always used Cinderella as an example. No one would care about Cinderella if her stepmother hadn't been such a cranky old bat with a royalty complex. When I look at my own original plot from four years ago, and the revised plot from this year, they both have plenty of conflict. But perhaps it is not the right kind of conflict, or the depth. Cinderella wasn't just a poor girl who had no shot at going to the ball, she was basically a house slave, who was tortured from childhood. The woman who was supposed to be her mother, was more like a prison warden. Her father died suddenly, and she was completely abandoned. When she finally thought she had a chance, it was crushed and shredded by her own family. It didn't stop there, she was pushed down, time and again. Every hope was extinguished. She worked hard and deserved to be rewarded. Why did all of this happen to her? We don't know. Did she deserve any of it? I think that good stories don't answer that question. That is what makes the characters relatable --they have to deal with reality just like us.

One of my very young coworkers asked me today if I believed in Karma. I quickly said, "Yes," without even thinking about it. But honestly, I haven't believed in Karma for a long time. I used to think that if I was a good person, good things would happen to me. But that is a very naive thing to believe, and I didn't have the heart to say it out loud. "I'm too old to believe in Karma," is what I should have said. 

If you have not read the book "The Lost Horse," by Ed Young, you should go look at it. It is a children's book that has been translated from an Ancient Chinese tale. To summarize, a man has a really awesome horse, that one day runs away. Everyone thinks it is so awful, except the man, who says, "It might not be a bad thing." Then the next week the horse returns with another horse, so now he has two. Everyone is excited, except the man who says, "It might not be a good thing." A few days later, the man's son falls off the new horse and breaks his arm. The story continues like this with everyone assuming an event is bad or good, and the man refusing to pick an adjective. I like the man in the story, and he is the reason Karma is not real to me. All events are just that --events. Nothing defines them as good or bad except our own perception. Although all events in our lives are connected, they are not necessarily directly linked by cause and effect, and certainly not by a tally of what is deserved.

It is time to give my characters some flaws and send them into a realistic world where they can't rely on Karma. 

Remind me some day to tell you the story about the time Buddha was our chef at a hibachi restaurant in Arkansas and convinced my husband and me to have a second child.

Checking for Holes

I have been free-writing for the past couple of weeks. I decided to just follow wherever the characters would take me. It was very productive and I have completed over 200 pages but it just wasn't feeling right. So I decided today, I would map my story so far and make a list of holes that would need to be filled in. This is what I found...

But I realize that this is a phase in the writing process. I am creating something new, I am sewing together a story from a scrap drawer called my imagination. I know the basic themes, I know the main inciting incidents and dramatic questions, and I know my characters and how they fit in the broad galaxy of my story. My task now is to use only words to invite others into that galaxy. My goal is to give readers a chance to materialize in a different realm and feel what it is like to be somewhere else. 

This is the hardest part of sharing what I create. I have to not only record what I see, feel, and think in this new realm, but I have to make sure my readers understand those sights, feelings, and thoughts as well. What may be a perfect connection in my mind, may be hidden to someone else. And sometimes, because I have the whole picture in my head already, I can forget that a reader can only see what I show them.

Try this. Think about your car. Picture the whole thing. Now say out loud what you would say to describe it to someone who had never seen it. I'm guessing you mentioned the color and the type of vehicle, and perhaps a few other details. Did you mention that the tires were black? Or did you assume they already knew that? What about the setup of the dash? Did you explain what the tachometer does? Did you mention the color of the numbers on the clock? Or describe how the starter motor sounds? How about windshield wipers? Those are pretty important to how cars function during specific weather, and if the person had never seen a car, they might not know about those, or even a windshield for that matter. That is my point.

So while mapping my work so far (at least the first half), I have identified seven holes that need filling in order to give my readers a clearer understanding. These aren't mistakes, they are simply things that naturally get filled as the story unfolds over time, and sometimes after writing hundreds of pages, you can forget what you were supposed to do. 

To be honest, I love this. It is like putting together a 1000 piece puzzle but someone else has the box and they are only giving me ten pieces at a time. 

...I will leave you with this word...

Blucher! (Which by the way does not mean glue or sound anything like the German word for glue. It is just a surname. Those horses were just responding in dramatic irony to the name of the villain the viewers didn't know about yet. -See, if the writer doesn't explain something, then the audience doesn't get it, or just makes something up!)

Naughty Characters

Well they have done it again. Those naughty characters. I spent the week doing a very rough outline of what I wanted to happen in chapters 9-11. But they just have a mind of their own! It is like raising several more children. You think you know them well, and you have an idea of what they will do next and then they off and travel to a different planet, or fall in love with someone completely different. The ones you thought would be inflexible are being so open minded and the adventurous ones sometimes just want to play it safe. 

I know what you are thinking. No, I have not lost my mind. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I have found it! In case you haven't seen this article floating around the last couple of weeks, take a peek. The Majority of Authors 'Hear' their Characters Speak, finds Study.

The good news is, I am nearly done with chapter 11 and the things I planned out haven't even happened yet. I like this. It means I have more to give my future readers than I ever knew. Maybe it was the change of scenery at my new desk this weekend...

Coming later this week:  My first Insecure Writers Support Group blog entry. I will be participating in their monthly blog hop and talking about the insecurities of being a writer. Get a glimpse into the life of other writers by visiting the badge I include in the post on Wednesday. It is a great way to find new authors you might enjoy. This week we will be talking about getting in the zone.

Apple Juice and Other Updates - New Sample

Seven chapters drafted, the writing life continues. What does your desk look like? Mine looks like my dining room table. I spent the entire day cleaning yesterday, and felt so much better and ready for a fresh start last night. I had my moon lamp nearby for inspiration. Had to clean apple juice off my writing journal and laptop this morning, but we persevere! It's a side effect of my working conditions. 

Here is another sample for you, hope you enjoy. (Remember, this is a first draft. Although it has been proofread, it is far from perfect and may or may not exist in the final manuscript.)

     The night was even colder than the previous one, since the clouds had lifted and nothing held in the warmth of the day. The stars shone brightly like ice crystals hanging above the bare branches of the trees. A thin crescent moon smiled at her on one side and a nearly full one began rising on the other side. There were hardly any noises except the leaves shuffling on the gusty wind and the branches creaking against the cold. Ylva wore the same leggings, tunic, and hood as earlier, but she added a fur shawl that she clipped in front of her chest with a silver circle pin that reflected the moonlight like her eyes.

     The forest was alive, the energy snapping like electricity around her. Most people feel that the cold season is a dead one, but there is plenty of life, coursing below the surface, holding on to the energy of the sun until it is needed again. In a few months, when enough of that energy has been stored up, everything will bloom in full and the result will be a new burst of life, an explosion of energy, a new beginning. It reminded her of a woman with child. She holds her inside, still and quiet for many months. As she grows and grows she feels more and more drained, she moves more slowly and her pain becomes climactic in labor. Then with a burst of energy, her life is split in two, she brings forth a new being, full of vitality, ready to begin the journey. Anyone can see the energy shining from a yearling, as she runs nonstop, spying, exploring, experimenting, learning. The life is pouring out of her in waves of laughter and shrieks of anger, and all after a season of dormancy when her mother absorbed all the energy of the galaxy to fuel the tiny life protected inside of her. That was how life began, again and again.

Time Travel

After finishing chapter 5, I can confidently say that time travel is a serious pain in the neck.

Make sure you get everything right the first time people.

The End.

Rewriting the Novel: 3 Paragraphs

I have been working hard today! I successfully completed my first three chapters of the rewrite. Here are a few paragraphs from chapter 1. Will they make the cut? Only time and endless revision will show! (Yes there are some weird spots, but I couldn't wait to share!)

     Ylva dropped her heavy sacks on the ground and stretched her arms over her head. She let out a yawn and closed her eyes, soaking in the sunlight on her cheeks through a clearing in the branches overhead. Her eyes scanned the nearby trees, searching for the right pair. She needed one small enough to get her started, but it needed to be close enough to its parent tree that she could jump across and continue climbing until she was above the canopy. This was how she plotted her journey now. Ylva spotted the perfect pair and did a few squats to warm up her legs. She wrapped them around a soft white trunk and began to scale. Her muscles flexed with heat as she reached higher and higher until she arrived at the crossing of the branches from the larger tree. This was always the scariest part,